Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
