OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
