No, you can still breathe under the balls.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
