im having a threesome with these popsicles
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
