it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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