Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
A bitchslap is in order.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
