Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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