why didn't you poke me back
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
