Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
