Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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