Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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