so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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