I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I could have mohawked her pubes.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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