well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
