why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
