I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
