Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
