First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
