He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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