Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
