I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize