If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
