You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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