Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
