Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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