Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
