trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Randomize
