There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
