its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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