is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
