He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Someone signed my nipple.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
