Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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