How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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