I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
