Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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