i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
