I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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