cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
