to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
