butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish my penis had an off switch
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
