what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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