I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
