i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There's always time for handjobs
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
