i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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