Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
