I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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