Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
