He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
