i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
