I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
