I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
