I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
