you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
