Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Who died my cat blue again?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize