Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
