Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
