Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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