i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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