ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
