The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize