i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize